You Are Responsible For You

It was Mental Health Week just recently.

I missed it, should have had this blog post out then....

Although if you go back and look at old issues, you'll see it's a topic that does sit close to my heart and I write about, maybe not directly and in so many words, but I cover it a lot.

Beyond Mental Health Week: A Career of Support

Some may remember back in the Wild Geese years the Kettlebell Mile challenges I did around October time for the RehabCare HOPS centre in Dublin, a drop in centre for mental health.

Where myself and many of my WG-Fit crew raised money for the centre by performing 1 mile of walking kettlebell swings.

And since leaving Dublin and the lockdowns kicking in, I have been double jobbing, providing coaching services online, but also working as a support worker for companies that support learning disabilities and homelessness.

My fascination with mental health started back when I was a kid.

Get yourself comfortable, I'm about to tell you a story:

The Catalyst: New Schools, Karate, and the "Set Run"

When I was 8, we moved from Selby in North Yorkshire to Lancaster, Lancashire.

So new location, new school, new friends etc. It was a good move, I was mostly happy and it was all good.

Then, a couple of years later, the move to secondary school.

I was the only person in my class to go to the Grammar school, so moved up alone. Another new school, new friends etc.

And this is where I got into a few fights and got my arse handed to me. So when I met up with my old primary school mates who lived local to me, the lads who were doing Karate, I asked where and when and I joined the Karate club.

The Grammar school had a thing they called the "Set Run"

Each year everyone in that year participated in a cross country run, it was timed and the results went on the notice board.

There was a small loop for the 1st & 2nd years, big loop for 3rd & 4th, and both loops for the big lads.

I hated it.

The first year run was hell.

But I did that before starting karate.

Everything is Karate: Overriding the Internal Narrative

The next year, I had most of a year of karate training in me and I went out on the run, hating it, because I thought I hated it.

Then at some point in the run I had a thought, "I do karate, I am strong and can push through being tired, lets treat this like karate"

And I ran, I sped up, I finished in a non embarrassing time, and I actually enjoyed myself despite myself.

That marks my first interest in mental health, it was an intuitive interest, I had no concept of what mental health was, it was 1989 and I was 12 years old. But I realised that I had agency over my internal state, so long as i decided I did and took that that responsibility.

This was summed up decades later by the lady who ran the HOPS centre in Dublin that we fundraised for. She talked about "personal responsibility" as a core principle she taught her service users.

Personal Responsibility: The "Cake" Underneath the Icing

Personal Responsibility.

A concept I rephrased as "You are responsible for you"

Since I took up Karate, which was my decision, ok, a decision made from fear after losing a fight, I turned up to every training, I practised at home and I saw myself improve.

The external validation that came from passing grades, scoring points and winning trophies, losing and having to work harder to win next time.

All that taught me in a real way about personal responsibility, and laid a foundation that has helped me build mental health that is as robust as my physical health.

The key thing to take from this story is not the karate, or the specifics of my life experience.

But to take the idea that when you take personal responsibility for your thoughts, your actions, your decisions, then you are working on your mental health.

You Are Responsible for You: Choosing Your Inputs

It's in line with what Jocko Willink means when he talks about "extreme ownership"

And of all the mental health advice and posts that have been going around the various media this last while.

Things like, take exercise, get outside, get enough sleep, eat well, avoid toxic relationships etc

They're the icing. They're the methods.

But the cake, the principles that lie underneath that icing that support those methods, they essentially come down to the simple statement, "you are responsible for you"

You are responsible for the decision to exercise or not.

You are responsible for the decision to eat well or to eat poorly

You are responsible for the decision to go outside or stay inside

You are responsible for the relationships you enter into

From Daniel LaRusso to Mr. Miyagi: The Lifelong Practice

To me, ever since being a kid, I think of everything as Karate. Even though I no longer have any interesting in fighting, I've moved on from becoming Daniel LaRusso and am now closer to being Mr Miyagi, but I still believe that to have good Karate, I need to actively practice developing strength, mobility and endurance across mind, body and spirit.

And I am the only person who can possibly be responsible for that practice.

It's simple

But definitely not easy

Dave

www.davehedges.net