Rasing The Average

On Saturday I watched the Netflix special “Inside the Manosphere” with Louis Theroux, and it got me thinking.

I’ve been aware of this “manosphere” for some time now and have largely ignored it, it wasn’t anything I was particularly interested in.

And then this documentary comes out and I figured I’d have a look.

Seeing that it was an hour and a half long, I almost didn’t bother, but I’m glad I did, the time actually shot by.

I’m not going to go too much into the documentary itself, but it got me thinking about this thing we call “influence”

Me writing these newsletters, putting them on the blog, the social media I put out and the way I position myself as an expert means I have influence.

But, I’m not an "influencer" which seems to have become a job title and career path in itself.

Thinking about it, we all have influence, every one of us has a sphere of influence whether we mean to or not.

In the age of Social Media, our influence can reach further and faster than at any other time in history, and it’s not going to slow down any time soon.

So what does it mean to have influence?

I’ve been teaching or coaching in one way or another since my Karate instructor stood me in front of the class to teach a section at the age of 16.

So for most of the last 33 years, I have been in a position of influence. And the last 17 of those I’ve been a Dad, which an even bigger position of influence.

Obviously as a coach, I get paid to impart information.

But as a Dad, as a co-worker, even as a husband, that influence is automatic. Everything I do or say will carry influence.

And when we realise that, we realise that we all carry a responsibility or some kind.

What Louis Theroux has done is highlight those using that influence purely for their own gain with no thought of the consequences for those they have influenced.

For the rest of us, it’s probably a good idea to consider those consequences, can we use the for the betterment of those in our sphere?

Can we be an example?

If we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with, can we raise that average?

Can we inspire people to be better?

I believe we can.

And the single best way to influence is to model.

You model the behaviours, the attitudes that you wish others to have, you set the example.

In doing so, be it in your personal life, home life, professional life, in the gym, even if you post online, you are doing so from a position of integrity.

You are living by your standards, your beliefs and values and those around you will see that, pick up on that and hopefully will start copying you.

Not by copying the things you do, but by starting to live by their own values, by leaning into their own integrity.

Over the years, this is what I have tried to do and in the Wild Geese years I have seen clients grow themselves, not just physically as we train, but also across mind and spirit.

Being around my kids Hurling team, just being present, by assisting with some of the training, helping with injuries and being present with the lads, I have had other parents thank me for being a positive influence.

Which I have to say, brought a wee lump to my throat.

So while the internet may be full of disingenuous influencers, we, no matter how big or small our individual spheres of influence may be, we are the good guys.

Each of us is raising the average in our own way, and we’re doing it simply by being who we are.

Simple.

Not easy.

Regards

Dave

www.davehedges.net